I am so exhausted after this evening's severe panic attack. Journey with me as I recall the event..........
I was taking my nieces trick or treating and so very excited to do so. I got out face paints and painted spiders and stars on the little pirate and fairy warrior. Then as time grew nearer to actually go from house to house arrived I chickened out and asked my man to help me instead take them Trunk or Treating at a local church. I thought it would a small event. I WAS WAY WRONG! This HUGE church with it's extra large parking lot was packed with strangers. Mind you I do not even go to church so this was all building up the panic inside me. Just the new crowded place, you know.
So my man and I and the girls start walking in the 70 degree weather when I starting to sweat, shake, and eventually cry. This was just from walking half way to the parking lot. My heart was pounding and I felt light headed so Patrick told me it was a good idea for me to just go back to the car and relax because he would take the girls to trunk or treating.
Now I am in the car trying to not shake by deep breathing when my mom comes up to the car (because she was supposed to meet us there) and holds my hand. She asked if I would just walk along with her in the parking lot and against my better judgement I said okay. So she started walking us toward the crowd and I realized she was fully intending to take me to the crowd to find Patrick and the girls.....I start to feel the chest tighten and heart pound while I sweat bullets. By the time we find them I am on the verge of a major melt down so Patrick says we are going home since I'm wasn't feeling well. As we walk back to the car I have a pull blown attack. I was wheezing, crying, and felt on the verge of fainting or puking. So Patrick held my shaking body in his arms, told me to stay put and keep breathing, and he would pull the car up.
Once in the car I rolled down the window and closed my eyes. Feeling the cool breeze on my face helped sooth my nerves and by the time we were home the tears stopped.
I can't keep living in fear like this...it is paralyzing. But at least I attempted it. Well, That was my great Halloween panic attack. I feel better now. Any tips out there on how to handle panic. I do deep breathing if I am able and take Klonopin but it takes a while to kick in.
I did read a book once which managed to completely knock the panics on the head. It was probably not even a particularly well-written book, but it did work for me. It explained very simply how what your body was doing was EXACTLY what it should be doing. The rapid heart beating, sweating, paralysis (I get paralysis quite often), pains, and so on, is your body dealing suitably with the stimulus which has affected you. It would be more worrying if your body didn't react the way it did. If you can imagine witnessing an accident, for example, your body would probably react in much the same way, and yet we wouldn't really notice it. We know, rationally, that panic feeds on panic, so as we fret about what the body is doing, we are simply giving it reason to increase its natural response - so more sweats, more feeling like we are unable to breathe, and so on.
ReplyDeleteI found that this was a quite effective way of thinking; if I just kept saying to myself 'My body SHOULD be doing this', it did eventually sink in.
Presently I can just about manage that while I am waiting for some drug to kick in. With the bout of panics I had previously, I managed to use that thinking instead of taking drugs until they stopped altogether. Having said that, the root cause of the panics is different. The first lot were about what you described above - crowds of people, and so on. I was able to tell myself that there was absolutely nobody tying me to that situation. I could walk away from it at any point. My current panics are much harder to pinpoint and are rarely related to anything I am actually doing, so they are trickier. Nevertheless, I can still put into practise what I learnt from that book.
Sometimes it works a treat, sometimes it doesn't seem to want to sink in, but there is no harm in trying.
This is a ridiculously long comment, but I hope it helps in some way.
much love to you, Pink
xxx P
*practice - sorry, brain fog!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. I am starting a job today and I have been filled with anxiety all night and this morning. I worked myself up so much that I was sick.
ReplyDeleteI try to calm myself by deep breathing and listening to music. It sometimes helps. I just hope I don't have a panic attack when I go to work.
Panic attacks are so hard. I have yet to find a 'quick fix' for them. But I do practice meditation a lot which has reduced the number of them. Also relaxation exercises, and have some relaxing melodies on my phone that I can listen too. I do breathing exercises too. But usually I have to take a Klonipin and wait for it to kick in. I'm so sorry you had such a severe attack.
ReplyDeleteNic: That is definitely a new way to approach the panic attacks. Part of my problem is I also have asthma and that goes into high gear when my anxiety hits. I love your comment and will certainly try the technique but hopefully I won't need it soon.
ReplyDeleteZebraShark: Music helps me out too. I hope your new job is going well.
Heather: Thank you so much for being so sweet. I have three songs in particular that relax me. I need to put a panic list on my phone. lol...but seriously I do.
I have heard that klonopin is a good medicine but from my research and talking to my doctor it takes klonopin longer to take effect which is the reason that I take ativan. It is just a suggestion that you may benefit from ativan or xanax better because they work quicker.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better,
Donna
I'll definitely talk to my doctor about Ativan because I was on it as a teen for anxiety and it worked. Thank you Donna for commenting. I hope it is cheaper than the Klonopin because my insurance covers neither.
ReplyDelete