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It is an honor to have you. The contents for this blog are from my personal experiences. Sometimes I will write about being bipolar and sometimes I won't.

I have been Bipolar I for 10+years and medicated for over 9. This blog looks into my treatment history, current therapies, my interest, recipes, love, music, and everything in between. I am hoping that those dealing with mental illness will find comfort, friendship, awareness, entertainment, and maybe even a few good answers. Most importantly, I hope those of you out there struggling will realize you are not alone.


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Refilled to late....delusions are here

I went on a 8 day trip to Austin TX recently and while there I ran out of my antipsychotic Abilify. It has now been 5 nights and 6 days without it but the pharmacy just messaged me that my script was ready. But Since I have been off of it I have felt a shroud lifting. But as it lifts it takes parts of my logic with it. For example, pull a metaphorical band aid made of Abilify off your hairy arm. When the sticky part is yanked off there are arm hairs stuck to it which to me are pieces of logic. Making sense?

Example....Last night at house I kept talking to Patrick because I thought he was in the home when My logical side recalled him leaving for work. So I looked through the house and was stupefied to realize he was not there. When he got home this morning...12 hours later, I felt as though only a couple of hours had passed and it was still night time. I told him I wanted to go out to dinner and he looked at me with concern. I said again that I was hungry and he said we could go get breakfast because it was 7am not pm. I had to go outside and see the location of the sun rising before I felt on cue with the right time.

Then I laid down with my man and he kissed me on the forehead and told me to take a nap since I didn't sleep the night before. Before sleep set in I kept hearing my name so I finally asked Patrick to stop messing with me. He was not at ease with this at all. So I got out of bed and Patrick asked what I thought I was doing. I said I was going to eat something to which he responded" what mealtime" was it. I laughed and said lunch (crossing my fingers I was right) which i was.

I know I need to pick up the medicine and swallow a pill but I feel delirious. I am light headed, confused, tired, and fairly unsure if I really need Abilify or if my body became addicted to it?




8 comments:

  1. Maybe give a call to your doctor? Whether or not to go back on the meds sounds like a tough call. You said being off the medicine is like a shroud being lifted. You have to weigh that against the other feelings (your last paragraph) and decide which is better. Be well.

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    1. I decided to get back on it because I was starting to remember and feel how I used to be before it. I was thinking of self harm and felt uneasy being alone. I feel much better now. I always appreciate your comments love!

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  2. Um. Being off meds is not an option for us bipolars. Get back on at once. You are playing with fire, and I think you know that. Sorry about the tough love.

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    1. I agree! I got back on it Feb 11th and wow....I feel so much better. The confusion is gone and my sleep is much improved. Sometimes we need tough love :-)

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  3. Maybe, abilify is not for you and you need something else . A lot of info coming out of this med that is less than stellar, I think Middle Child has hit the mark.

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    1. I was thinking that too but started to get very depressed so I got back on it and just recently I started to feel like myself again. I was getting delusional. Thank you for commenting Kristy :)

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  4. Yikes, thanks for sharing this, I guess it's confirmation that the abilify was helping you!

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    1. Not a problem Mama Bear. I can't believe I ever let my script of Abilify lapse.

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