On our recent trip to Austin, TX my man and I had the opportunity to talk. I mean really talk. The radio was turned off and so I started my confession to him that I knew I have not been holding up my end the relationship. I do not keep a clean home and I do not put our needs above those of our family and friends. I cancel my plans at home constantly to aid my family or friends with their needs. If I don't I feel stressed....as if I am letting them down. But in all honesty I am letting myself down and my man down every time I neglect my duties at home. It was excusable for a while because my Bipolar symptoms were on the forefront but now that they have calmed down I am just in the habit of not doing my chores.
So now that we are back home I am making it a priority to attend to the house two hours every day until it is in order then it will just be upkeep with dusting, laundry, and dishes....oh and the floors and dogs. I have a full time job at home and it is time I started earning the home I live in.
But this revelation came about while we were driving and talking which brought me to tears because I felt so bad for putting everything else above my, Patrick's, and the home's needs. I am sure many of you can relate to this and I would love to hear how you manage to keep your homes in order through the chaos of mental illness and the juggling of life!